Lawyering with Emotional Intelligence: How To?
Jun 10, 2022
Last week, we talked about emotional intelligence, and how it can enhance an attorney’s and a law firm’s practice and business. Developing and utilizing emotional intelligence is also critical to maintain a healthy physical and mental life. Now that we know what exactly emotional intelligence is and all the benefits it provides, we can talk about strategies to develop and enhance out emotional intelligence. Below are 5 ways to improve your emotional intelligence skills:
- Be aware of your emotions.
When you feel an emotion, think about what exactly is making you feel that way. When you get frustrated with a coworker, think about whether you’re frustrated about your workload and you’re simply taking it out on your coworker, or if your coworker really hurt your feelings in some way, or any other possible situation. Awareness of our own emotions can help us understand and empathize with others’ emotions.
- Make the effort to actively listen to people you interact with.
Know the difference between hearing and listening. Hearing is simply a biological mechanism by which we process sensory sound input. Listening, and especially active listening, involves a lot more than hearing. It means that we are engaging with another person’s words by absorbing what they say, asking questions if we have them, and reflecting back to them what we understood.
- Empathize with those around you.
We live in a very individualistic society and it’s hard to take ourselves out of the spotlight in our own minds. The consequences of doing so however are very rewarding and worth the challenge. Empathizing with others requires us to think about life in another person shoes. Why is he or she specifically acting this way? What experiences did they encounter throughout their lives that make them disagree with me? Is there a way to make a decision that is sensitive to mine and his/her perspective? Ask these questions often and you will find it much easier to develop and maintain meaningful relationships.
- Try to resist impulse reactions during stressful or challenging situations.
Most people tend to react impulsively during high-stress, frustrating situations. Attorneys, as typically already high-strung people, are even more likely than others to react impulsively in such situations. Instead, when you feel an impulse reaction, take a deep breath and try your best to suppress that initial reaction so you can think about the situation for a moment. Once you’ve taken a few moments to assess, your reaction will likely be a lot more appropriate and will leave you and others around you feeling a lot better than if you had reacted on your first impulse. This is extremely difficult, but definitely can be mastered with time. Give yourself grace, but also remember that you have to put in the work.
- Take responsibility for your actions.
Whether you’ve missed a deadline, hurt someone’s feelings, broken a promise, or anything else of that sort, accept your mistake and apologize directly to the person affected if need be. Do not try to blame someone or something else. Be honest with yourself and honor yourself by accepting responsibility and taking steps to correct your mistakes in the future.
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